INTRODUCTION
Problems
in families will lead to growing number of family break down and divorces. Today
people are not concerned about family concerns like marriage, sex & family
planning. But as Christians, we should be aware and concerned about families. The
family life starts from marriage.
Marriage is one of the most
interesting and important subjects in the world. Everyone enter this world
through the physical union of a man and a woman. Every culture in the world has
its own set of customs and rules concerning marriage, sex and family. What God
have to say about marriage, family and sex? Since it was God who created
mankind as male and female and He joined the first man and woman together in
marriage. So it is very important to understand what God has to say about
marriage, sex and family.
MARRIAGE
Marriage is a social union or legal contract
between individuals that creates kinship. It is an institution in which interpersonal
relationships, usually intimate and sexual, are acknowledged by a variety of
ways, depending on the culture. Such a union may also be called matrimony, while the ceremony that
marks its beginning is usually called a wedding and the marital structure created is known as wedlock. People marry for many reasons, most often including one or more of the
following: legal, social, emotional, economical, spiritual, and religious.
These might include arranged marriages, family obligations, and the legal
establishment of a nuclear family unit, the legal protection of children and
public declaration of love.
Marriage practices are very diverse across
cultures, may take many forms, and are often formalized by a
ceremony called a wedding.
1) Marriage was
God’s idea
Marriage was God’s plan from the
beginning. It was not man’s idea. Marriage was planned by God to meet the human
need for companionship, love, mutual encouragement, practical help, and sexual
satisfaction (Gen.2:18, 1Cor.7; 2-3).It is God’s plan that marriage should be
the way in which children will be born and raised in the security and love
created by one man and one woman, committed to each other for a lifetime
(Ps127:3, Mal.2:14-16, Mat.19:6). When God created Adam in the Garden of Eden,
He created a perfect man. But there was one thing Adam needed. God said,” It is
not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him” (Gen.2:18).God
decided to make another human being like himself. Adam needed the companionship
of another human being like himself. God had made the other creatures as male
and female (Gen.6:19).Since Adam was a male; God took one of Adam’s ribs and
made a female partner for him. By doing this, God gave Adam a lifelong
companion and helper and a sexual partner for marriage. Through the physical
union of Adam and Eve, God planned for the human race to be continued
(Gen.1:27-28, 2; 24).
2) Marriage was
the first thing God established in human society
Marriage
was established by God before all other human institutions. This shows us that
marriage is the foundation of human society. Marriage was established before man’s
fall into sin. This shows us that marriage is Holy. In God’s plan, marriage is
the basis for a morally and socially stable society. This is part of the reason
why God hates adultery (Ex.20:14), fornication (1Thess.4:3-6), incest (Lev.18:6ff)
and homosexuality (Rom.1:24-28).These things disrupt and twist God’s plan for a
stable human society. Marriage is God’s plan for all people and all cultures in
the world.
3) God’s plan
about marriage
God’s
plan is that there should be one woman for one man. God made one woman for the
man, He created (Gen.2:22-24).He intended for this partnership between one man
and one woman to last for a lifetime. This lifetime commitment is important for
several reasons. First, it guarantees care, provision and protection for the wife
through out her life (Col.3:12, 13, 1Pet.3:7). Second, there is a need for the
emotional security and development of the children. Third, Children need a
secure and environment to grow and develop the way God intended.
4) Is marriage
bondage?
Many
people think that marriage is bondage. But marriage is an agreement between two
persons, a man and a woman, in which they willingly and voluntarily, bind each
other in a life long bond. The bond remains till they are separated by death.
In other words, marriage is meant to be extremely string and unbreakable and
expected to be permanent and long-lasting. So marriage is not bondage, but a
complement and a supplement.
5) Problems in
married life
Problems
in married life are various and have many reasons. It may be because of
suspecting each other, comparing with others, and interference of the in-laws
and lack of financial freedom. Some other reasons are social, financial, physical
problems, spiritual, mental, moral and emotional problems cause more harm to
them. Each couple from the very first day till their separation at death faces
problems. Those who confront those problems with courage and defeat them will
lead a happy and fruitful life.
SEX
Sex
is a powerful force. It is something like fire. Fire is possible because of the
way God made the world. Fire can be very useful. We can use fire to cook our
food and to heat our homes. But if a house catches fire, it can destroy the
house and even kill the people in it. The same is true about sex. Sex is
possible because of the way God made men and women. Under God’s control, sex is
one of god’s blessings to married people. It is the means of great pleasure and
the means of bringing children into the world. Out of God’s control, sex can
destroy the home and ruin human lives.
1) Is sex a sin?
This is a question that many young
people ask today. A straight and clear answer to this from the Bible is “YES,
it is a sin when out side a marital relationship”. Practices such as adultery (unfaithful
to a marriage partner), fornication (Sexual relations before marriage),
homosexuality (sexual relations between people of the same sex), incest (sexual
relations between family members), bestiality (sexual relations with an animal)
and other impure practices are an abomination to God. God gives us a list of
those practices which are impure forms of sexual behavior. God has pronounced a
severe judgement on these sins (Lev.20:10-21).
2) God’s plan
concerning sex
When God created man, He created
them as male and female for the purpose of sexual reproduction (Gen.1:27-28).
One of the most important facts a Christian must understand about sex is that
sex was God’s idea for man’s good and man’s enjoyment. It is not a sin within
marriage. According to the Bible sex is both good (Gen.1:31) and (heb.13:4).it
was given to man before his fall into sin in the Garden of Eden. Some people
believe that the original sin of man was the fact that Adam had sex with his
wife (Gen.4:1). This is a false idea. Because of sin, man has twisted and
corrupted God’s plan concerning sex. According to God’s plan, sexual relations
must be strictly confined to husbands and wives in the commitment of marriage.
3) Sexual sins
and its results
Any other use of sex outside of
marriage is a serious sin. Many terrible problems in the world today are the
result of a sinful use of sex. Some cultures do not condemn certain sexual
sins, such as fornication. If a Christian comes from such a culture, he or she
must understand that it is God who has condemned fornication and other such
sins. Another sexual sin is perverted sex. A terrible outcome of this perverted
sexual relationship is the dreaded disease like AIDS. AIDS (Acquired immune
deficiency syndrome) is caused by a virus called HIV (Human immunodeficiency
virus) it is widely believed that it is originated from unnatural sex and now
spreads all over the world so rapidly. Often people didn’t understand that this
is a curse from God on the immoral society. Most of the sexual diseases are
from unnatural sex and unfaithful partners. The disease which spreads by sexual
intercourse is called as sexually transmitted Disease (STDs).
FAMILY
PLANNING
The condition of family life is
reflected in the condition of the nation, so high priority should be given to
the development and delivery of health and welfare services. These services
should include family planning services, since family planning is intimately
connected to the core functions of the family; procreation, socialization and
acculturation of children.
Family planning is the
responsibility of the parents to make conscious decisions regarding the number
of children they want and their spacing. Data is available which support family
planning as a preventive health measure.
Definition
Family planning is frequently used
to mean that people plan when to have children, using birth control and other
techniques to implement that plan. Other techniques commonly used are sexuality
education, prevention and management of sexually transmitted infections,
preconceptional counseling and infertility management. Family planning is
sometimes used as a synonym for the use of birth control, though it often
includes more.
Family
planning Association India (FPA India)
This organization was established
in1949, which has been recognized as India’s leading and largest
reproductive and sexual health organization. It provides information on
sexuality education and family life and a wide range of services in sexual and
reproductive health, including family planning, bringing health and happiness
to millions.
Functions of
FPA India
FPA India strengthens a voluntary
and non- government commitment to promote sexual and reproductive health and
rights including family planning. It supports the rights of individuals to
reproductive choices, including legal and safe abortion. Works towards reducing
the spread and impact of STIs/HIV/AIDS, and increasing access to gender
sensitive. SRH information, education and services to all especially the young
and marginalized and eliminating violence, discrimination, and abuse.
Benefits of
family planning
It improves the health of men, women
and children.
It reduces the unwanted abortions.
It helps the children to get good
health, food, education, emotional support from parents and other resources.
It reduces strain on environmental
resources (land, food, water) and community resources (health care &
education).
It gives better health for women.
Focus on family planning by Christianity
Roman Catholics
The
Roman Catholic do not accept family planning as they consider children as gifts
of God. Catholic doctrine holds that God created sexual intercourse to be both
unitive and procreative. This church considers deliberately altering fertility
or the marital act with the intention of preventing procreation to be sinful.
Thus, artificial birth control methods are forbidden, as are acts intended to
end in orgasm outside the context of intercourse. At the same time, not having
sex at all is considered morally acceptable. Having sex at an infertile time in
a woman’s life is also considered acceptable, since the infertile condition is
considered condition to be created by God, rather than as an act by the couple.
Family
planning according to the Bible
When the Lord blessed the nations,
he said that mankind shall multiply and fill the land. When he gave such a
blessing, he only meant to fill the
land, but not to congest it
with too many people. He only wanted to multiply the generations, but
not the number of people. We know that “ too much of anything is good for
nothing” hence it is very important to keep with the limits. Therefore it is
not wrong to practice family planning.
DOWRY
What is dowry?
Dowry or ‘Dahej’ or
Sreedhanam’ is the money, goods or estate that a woman brings to her husband in
marriage. It’s the gifts given by the bride’s family to the bridegroom’s family
along with the bride in Indian marriage. Kanayadanam is an important part in Hindu
marital rites. Kanya means daughter and Dana means gift. The present made at
the time of marriage in the form of cash, ornaments, clothes, or articles shall
be deemed to dowry.
Origin of dowry
After the completion of his education at Ashram,
when a young man married and began life he had no property or money. To launch
him in the world, society provided him with the articles barely necessary and
enough to furnish his house hold. The parents of the bride naturally were the
main contributors. The gifts were mainly clothes and utensils and a cow
supplemented with some ornaments for the bride and some money.
Dravidian culture
The Dravidian culture
has its own language, vast number of classical literature, well developed art
and music. They even have their own religious in earlier times. This religion
was not Hindu. It also appears that they had no dowry system as it is known
today. But after the introduction of braminical religion into, Tamil country
dowry crept in and the status of women began to sink.
Dowry and Christian concept of marriage
The Christian concept
of marriage is that God institutes marriage. In other words, we regard marriage
as an order of creation. To make it more specific, marriage consists of a
covenantal relationship between two people. And this is to fulfill the purpose
of God. Also marriage is regard as a social and religious institution. The main
emphasis in marriage is mutual love, respect, faithfulness to each other and
responsibility for one another. It is a meaningful relationship.
Since dowry is one of
the main criteria in marriage, woman receives love and respect according to the
amount of dowry. And there is bargaining tendency on dowry in the marriage; it
reduces the sacramental value of marriage. Many people give more importance to
money than to the personal worth of the people and human relationship.
So marriage on many occasions is dependent upon the external or material
things rather the value of the person, worth of human personalities. So it
becomes difficult to agree in such cases marriage is an ever lasting contact of
relationship between two people or the union of two hearts. This is the main
reason dowry is called as social evil. The real meaning of the marriage has
lost its value and the women are made as commodities without having any
individual worth with the marriage.
Disadvantages of dowry system
o
Many girls from the middle class and low class
families remain unmarried.
o
The parents who have more number of girl children
will be in heavy debt after two or three marriages.
o
The bargaining nature of the dowry introduces
commercialism in marriage and so the sanctity of marriage is lost.
o
Girls are
not encouraged to get high education. The dowry system may psychologically
affect girls.
DIVORCE
The word Divorce is derived from the
Greek word “apaulo” which means “ to set
free, to loose, liberate, dissolved, cut loose, or a ship at its launching,
discharge, as a soldier from the army, cut a part to cause all obligation and
responsibility to cease.” The meaning in dictionary is “the legal ending of
marriage”. Divorce is becoming a serious problem in the modern world,
especially for those who live in big cities.
History
In contrast to the Western world
where divorce was relatively uncommon until modern times, divorce was a common
occurrence in at least two pre-modern societies: Japan and the Muslim world.
Ancient history
Divorce is mentioned in
the Code of Hammurabi, the oldest known written compilation of laws. Believed
to have been recorded around the year 1760B>C in Babylon, Hammurabi believed himself chosen by
God to deliver laws to his people. His rules for divorce imply that the
practice already existed in his time, might possibly be the origin for the
concept of fault divorces. According to the code a man could divorce his wife
if she went out of doors uncovered persisted in acting foolishly or belittled
her husband.
Greco Roman History
Ancient Greece was one of history’s most
sexually permissive societies. It’s not surprising, then that divorce should
have been quite common in their society. The matter was a legal concern, and it
required approval by magistrate subject to appropriate grounds. It was only
after the city state had grown into a republic and an empire that wealthy
Romans began to see divorce more liberally
Medieval period
During the period after the Roman
Empire during which the Catholic Church was the central social and
political institution in the west, divorce fell into decline. When we read the
gospels, Jesus says that divorce is same as committing adultery. Since adultery
is forbidden by Ten Commandments, divorce was an unpardonable sin and strictly
prohibited by the church.
Christian views on divorce
Roman Catholic Church
By the ninth or
tenth century, the divorce rate had been greatly reduced under the influence of
the Church which considered marriage a sacrament
instituted by God
and Christ
indissoluble by mere human action. Canon law
makes no provision for divorce, but annulment may be granted when proof is produced that essential
conditions for contracting a valid marriage were absent. The grounds for
annulment are determined by Church authority and applied in ecclesiastical courts. “By marriage the
husband and wife are one person in law: that is, the very being of legal
existence of the woman is suspended during the marriage or at least
incorporated and consolidated into that of the husband: under whose wing,
protection and cover, she performs everything.” Since husband and wife became
one person upon marriage, that oneness could only be invalid if the parties
improperly entered into the marriage initially.
Eastern Orthodox
The Eastern Orthodox Church does recognize
that there are rare occasions when it is better that couples do separate, but
there is no official recognition of civil divorces. For the Eastern Orthodox,
the marriage is indissoluble as in it should not be broken, the violation of
such a union, perceived as holy, being an offense resulted from either adultery
or the prolonged absence of one of the partners. The divorce rate in the
Orthodox Church seems to be much lower than that of the societal averages.
Divorced individuals are usually allowed to remarry though there is usually
imposed on them a fairly severe penance by their bishop and the services for a
second marriage in this case are more penitential than joyful.
Oriental Orthodox Church
The Oriental
Orthodox Church is more severe than the Eastern Orthodox Church in terms of
divorce and adopts an intermediate position between Rome
and Constantinople, allowing it only in the case
of adultery.
This position is valid for both Copts and Armenians.
Conservative Protestant
churches
What does God say about Divorce?
God
hates divorce (Mal 2:16). Divorce destroys God’s plan for both the marriage and
the family.. Although God hates divorce, He recognizes that it takes place. He
deals with people where they are. He will forgive this sin, just as He will forgive
other sins (Psalms 103:3) .God will
not change his mind concerning the need for life long commitment and permanence
in marriage God made marriage for man’s good, to provide moral stability and
order for all human society.
CONCLUSION
We have analyzed about
family concerns and related issues that people meet today in their life. As it
was said above many people are not concerned about these things. But as
Christians we should have concern on family, because God had made everything
according to his will and plan. So as Christians we must be aware of the
problems and put our trust in God to over come the problems to live a
successful life.
