Marriage and Family in the Bible

INTRODUCTION

Incredible as it may seem, we can no longer assume that people in our culture understand what the proper definition of "marriage" and "the family" is. Not only this is a sad commentary on the impact of same-sex marriage activists on our society, it also shows how the culture's memory of the biblical tradition on which it is largely based is fading fast. What is marriage, biblically defined? And what is the biblical definition of a family?

          Marriage is one of the most interesting and important subjects in the world. Every one enters this world through the physical union of a man and a woman. Every culture in the world has its own set of customs and rules concerning marriage and family. Since it was God who created mankind as male and female and He joined the first man and woman together in marriage. So it is very important to understand what God has to say about marriage and Family.

1.   MARRIAGE

Marriage is a social union or legal contract between individuals that create kinship. It is an institution in which interpersonal relationships, usually intimate and sexual, are acknowledge by a variety of ways, depending on the culture. Such a union may also be called matrimony, while the ceremony that marks its beginning is called a wedding and the marital structure created is known as wedlock.

People marry for many reasons, most often including one or more of the following: legal, social, emotional, economical spiritual and religious. These might include arranged marriages, family obligations, and the legal establishment of a nuclear family unit, the legal protection of children and public declaration of love. Marriage practices are very diverse across cultures, may take many forms, and are often formalized by a ceremony called a wedding.

1.1Marriage was God’s idea

Marriage was God’s plan from the beginning. It was not man’s idea. Marriage was planned by God to meet the human need for companionship, love, mutual encouragement, Practical help and sexual satisfaction (Gen.2:18, 1Cor.7:2-3). It is God’s plan that marriage should be the way in which children will be born and raised in the security and love created by one man and one woman, committed to each other for a life time (Ps127:3,Mal.2:14-16,Mat.19:6).

When God created Adam in the Garden of Eden, He created a perfect man. But there was one thing Adam needed. God said,” It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him” (Gen.2:18).God decided to make another human being like himself. Adam needed the companionship of another human being like himself. God had made the other creatures as male and female (Gen.6:19).Since Adam was a male; God took one of Adam’s ribs and made a female partner for him. By doing this, God gave Adam a lifelong companion and helper and a sexual partner for marriage. Through the physical union of Adam and Eve, God planned for the human race to be continued (Gen.1:27-28, 2; 24).

1.2 Marriage was the first thing God established in human society

          Marriage was established by God before all other human institutions. This shows us that marriage is the foundation of human society. Marriage was established before man’s fall into sin. This shows us that marriage is Holy. In God’s plan, marriage is the basis for a morally and socially stable society. This is part of the reason why God hates adultery (Ex.20:14), fornication (1Thess.4:3-6), incest (Lev.18:6ff) and homosexuality (Rom.1:24-28).These things disrupt and twist God’s plan for a stable human society. Marriage is God’s plan for all people and all cultures in the world.

1.3 God’s plan about marriage

          God’s plan is that there should be one woman for one man. God made one woman for the man, He created (Gen.2:22-24).He intended for this partnership between one man and one woman to last for a lifetime. This lifetime commitment is important for several reasons. First, it guarantees care, provision and protection for the wife throughout her life (Col.3:12, 13, 1Pet.3:7). Second, there is a need for the emotional security and development of the children. Third, Children need a secure and environment to grow and develop the way God intended.

1.4 Is marriage bondage?

          Many people think that marriage is bondage. But marriage is an agreement between two persons, a man and a woman, in which they willingly and voluntarily, bind each other in a lifelong bond. The bond remains till they are separated by death. In other words, marriage is meant to be extremely string and unbreakable and expected to be permanent and long-lasting. So marriage is not bondage, but a complement and a supplement.

2.   FAMILY

The Bible defines "family" in a narrow sense as the union of one man and one woman in matrimony which is normally blessed with one or several natural or adopted children. In a broad sense, this family also includes any other persons related by blood (the extended family). In the book of Genesis, we read that, "Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh" (Genesis 2:24 ESV). This verse sets forth the biblical pattern as it was instituted by God at the beginning: one man is united to one woman in matrimony, and the two form one new natural family. In this regard, "become one flesh" not only refers to the establishment of one new family but also to the husband and wife's sexual union leading to the procreation of offspring. This, in turn, is in keeping with God's original command to the first human couple to "be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it and have dominion" over all of creation (Genesis 1:28).

3.   BIBLICAL BASIS OF MARRIAGE AND FAMILY

3.1ROOTED IN CREATION (GENESIS 1–3)

In exploring the biblical teaching on marriage, there is no more important paradigm than God’s intended pattern for marriage presented in Genesis1–3. Although the book of Genesis was originally addressed to Israel’s wilderness generation in preparation for entering the Promised Land, the early chapters of this book provide the parameters of the Creator’s design for marriage in every age. Marriage is shown to be rooted in God’s creative act of making humanity in his image as male and female. Sin is depicted as the result of humanity’s rebellion against the Creator at the instigation of Satan, himself a fallen creature, and as becoming so much a part of the human nature that people ever since the fall are by nature rebelling against their Creator and his plan for their lives.

    3.2 RULE THE EARTH

The fact that both men and women are created in the likeness and image of their Creator invests them with inestimable worth, dignity, and significance. Popular notions of what it means to be created in God’s image have often been unduly influenced by Greek concepts of personality. Thus, God’s image in the man and the woman has frequently been identified in terms of their possession of intelligence, a will, or emotions. While this may be presupposed or implied to some extent in Genesis 1:27, the immediate context develops the notion of the divine image in the man and the woman in terms of representative rule (cf. Ps. 8:6–8). By placing his image on the man and the woman and by setting them in a particular environment, therefore, God assigns to them the mandate of representative rule. This rule is the joint function of the man and the woman. The first man and the first woman were thus charged to exercise representative rule in part by procreation. In this sense, then, human beings are “like God.” Just as God rules over a large domain—the whole universe—so humanity is given charge of the entire earth to rule it for God.

    3.3 RESPONSIBILITY OF MAN  

The Apostle Paul’s comments on Genesis 1–3 repeatedly root the man’s primary responsibility in the family (as well as in the church) in the fact that he was created first. Not only does Paul draw attention to the fact that the man was created first, but he also notes that it is not the man who was made for the woman, but the woman for the man (1 Cor. 11:9; cf. Gen. 2:18, 20) and from the man (1 Cor. 11:8, 12; cf. Gen. 2:22).Moreover, the man was the one who received the divine command (Gen.2:16–17), was presented with the woman (Gen. 2:22), and named the woman with a name derived from his own (Gen. 2:23; cf. 3:20), which also implies his authority. Moreover, God addressed to man certain moral commands (Gen.2:16–17). Prior to the creation of the woman, the man had already begun exercising the divine mandate to subdue the earth, naming the animals (Gen. 2:19–20). In order to supply his need for companionship, God created the woman to be Adam’s wife. God’s creation of Eve demonstrates that God’s plan for Adam’s marriage, as well as for all subsequent marriages, involves a monogamous heterosexual relationship. God only made one “suitable helper” for Adam, and she was female.

3.4 ROLE OF WOMAN

God made woman in his image and as suitable helper, but what is the force of the expression “suitable helper”? A contextual reading of the expression in its original setting suggests that, on the one hand, the woman is congenial to the man in a way that none of the animals are (Gen. 2:19–20; she is “bone of [his] bones and flesh of [his] flesh,” Gen. 2:23), and, on the other hand, that the woman is placed alongside the man as his associate or assistant. On a personal level, she will provide for the man’s need for companionship (Gen. 2:18). In relation to God’s mandate for humanity to be fruitful and multiply and to fill the earth and subdue it (Gen. 1:28), the woman is a suitable partner both in procreation (becoming “one flesh” with him [Gen. 2:24]) and in the earth’s domestication (Gen. 1:28: “And God blessed them. And God said to them . . . ”). Her role is distinct from the man’s, yet unique and exceedingly significant.

While assigned to the man as his “helper” and thus placed under his overall charge, the woman is his partner in ruling the earth for God.

3.5 RATHER neither HELPER NOR SUBORDINATE

Those denying female subordination as being rooted in the creative order point to the fact that the term “helper” (Heb. ezer) in the Old Testament is repeatedly applied to none less than God himself (Ex. 18:4; Ps. 20:2; 33:20; 70:5; 115:9–11; 121:1–2; 146:5). If God, who is clearly not subordinate to anyone, is called “helper,” it is argued, how can it be maintained that the term in and of itself establishes the woman’s subordination to the man?  Indeed, if the issue were that of essential or ontological subordination, as to a difference in the nature of a woman’s humanity, such would seem to be excluded.

If the question is one of functional subordination in terms of role distinction, however, the mere application of the expression “helper” to God in the Old Testament does not obviate the woman’s subordination to the man in terms of being his “helper.” Rather, all that these instances prove is that God, as humanity’s “helper,” may at times choose to subordinate himself and his own interests to those of human beings by caring for them, providing for them, and so on. This does not affect his divinity, however, just as Jesus’ divinity was not diminished by his incarnation. Neither is the Holy Spirit’s divinity compromised by his service to and indwelling of flesh-bound human beings.

Moreover, in the case of the woman, Genesis 2 does not teach that she may merely act as the man’s “helper” when she so chooses but rather that serving as the man’s “helper” sums up her very reason for existence in relation to the man. Being the man’s “helper” is the purpose for which the woman was created, as far as her wifely status is concerned.

Also, the woman is described as a “suitable” helper. In context, this distinguishes her from all the other creatures named by the first man, who were all judged unsuitable complements for him. By contrast, the woman is equal to the man in kind, a fellow human being (cf. Gal. 3:28; 1 Pet. 3:7); yet she is also different, the man’s “helper” (cf. Eph. 5:22). That this designation is nonreversible is indicated by the fact that nowhere is the man called the woman’s “helper.” Thus equality and distinctness; complement and submission/authority must be held in fine balance.

4. HOW DID SIN AFFECT MARRIAGE AND THE FAMILY?

Knowing the divine ideal for marriage, and aware that marriage and the family are divine institutions, we are now able to move from God's creation of man and woman and his institution of marriage to the Fall of humanity and its negative consequences on the marriage relationship. As a study of biblical history shows, humanity's rebellion against the Creator's purposes led to at least the following six negative consequences: (1) polygamy; (2) divorce; (3) adultery; (4) homosexuality; (5) sterility; and (6) gender role confusion.

The first shortcoming, polygamy means marrying multiple wives, violates God's instituted pattern of marital monogamy. While it was certainly within God's prerogative and power to make more than one wife for the man, God only made Eve. Yet within six generations after the fall of humanity, barely after Adam had died, Lamech took two wives (Genesis 4:19). Later, prominent men in Israel’s history such as Abraham, Esau, Jacob, Gideon, Elkanah, David, Solomon, and others engaged in polygamy. However, not only did polygamous marriage fall short of God's original design, it regularly resulted in disruptive favoritism, jealousy between competing wives, and decline into idolatry.

The second shortcoming was divorce, which disrupted the permanence of marriage. While divorce became so common that it had to be regulated in the Mosaic code (Deuteronomy 24:1-4), the Bible makes clear that God hates divorce (Malachi 2:16). Divorce is also used repeatedly as an analogy for spiritual apostasy (Isaiah 50:1; Jeremiah 3:8).

A third shortcoming was adultery, the breaking of one's marriage vows. The Decalogue stipulates explicitly, "You shall not commit adultery" (Exodus 20:14; Deuteronomy 5:18). An egregious case of adultery was David's sin with Bathsheba (2 Samuel 11). In cases such as these, the principle of marital fidelity to one's marriage partner was compromised. The Book of Proverbs calls adultery both foolish and dangerous (e.g. Proverbs 2:16-19; 5:3-22; 6:32-33; 7:5-23; 9:13-18). In the Old Testament, adultery is frequently used as an analogy to depict the spiritual unfaithfulness of God's people Israel (Jeremiah 3:8-9; Ezekiel 16:32, 38; Hosea 1:1-3:5).

Fourthly Homosexuality marks another falling away from God's creation purposes in that it violates the divine will for marriage to be between one man and one woman. As Genesis 2:24 stipulates, "A man [masculine] shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife [feminine], and the two shall become one flesh." Heterosexuality is the only possible arrangement for marriage, as the Creator has commanded and expects married couples to "be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth" (Genesis 1:28). Since homosexuality involves same-sex intercourse that cannot lead to procreation, it is unnatural and cannot logically entail the possibility of marriage.

A fifth shortcoming is sterility, which falls short of the fertility desired by the Creator. Fertility is implicit in the biblical reference to the "one flesh" union. At times, lack of fertility is said in the Old Testament to be the result of personal sin (Genesis 20:17-18; 2 Samuel 6:23), while on other occasions sterility is presented as a simple fact of (fallen) nature (Genesis 11:30; 25:21; 30:1; 1 Samuel 1:2). However, God is often shown to answer prayers for fertility offered by his people in faith (e.g. 1 Samuel 1:9-20).

Gender role confusion is a sixth and final result of humanity's rebellion against the Creator. Where God's design for man and woman to be distinct yet complementary partners in procreation and stewardship of God's earth is diluted, people will inexorably be confused about what it means to be masculine or feminine, and the lines between the two sexes made by God will increasingly be blurred.

Despite the above-mentioned ways in which God's original design for marriage and the family was compromised, however, the Bible in the Old Testament continues to extol the virtues of the excellent wife (Proverbs 31:10-31) and to celebrate the beauty of sex in marriage (Song of Solomon).

5. RESTORATION OF GOD'S ORIGINAL DESIGN FOR MARRIAGE AND THE FAMILY

The New Testament teaches that the restoration of God's original design for marriage in Christ is part of God's realignment of all things under Christ's authority and lordship. In the book of Ephesians, we read that it is God's purpose "to bring all things in heaven and on earth together under one head, even Christ" (Ephesians 1:10, NIV). Thus marriage is not an end in itself but part of God's end-time restoration of all things in the person of Jesus Christ. Part of this restoration is that all evil powers are brought under control and are submitted to the supreme authority of Christ (Ephesians 1:21-22). Later on in the same letter, Paul addresses the subject of marriage in general, and marital roles in particular, within the larger context of believers needing to be filled with the Holy Spirit (Ephesians 5:18).

CONCLUSION

The contemporary culture is in a deep crisis regarding marriage and family today. While the crisis has important political, social, and economic ramifications, in the ultimate analysis only a spiritual return to the biblical foundations will address the root issue of the current crisis. Marriage and the family were God's idea, and as divine institutions they are not open to human renegotiation or revision. As we have seen, the Bible clearly teaches that God instituted marriage as a covenant between one man and one woman, a lifelong union of two partners created in God's image to govern and manage the earth for him. In keeping with his wonderful design, the Creator will normally bless a married couple with children, and it is his good plan that a family made up of a father, a mother, and several children witness to his glory and goodness in a world that has rejected the Creator's plan and has fashioned a variety of God-substitutes to fill the void that can properly be filled only by God himself.

BIBLIOGRAPHY

1. Tandy.P.K. In the background of marriage. New Delhi: ISPCK, 2006.

2. Hudson Leonard. Sex and Christian freedom-An enquiry. London: SCM press               Ltd, 1967.

3. O’Donovan Wilbur. Biblical Christianity in Indian perspective. London: Inter Bible society, 1973.

4. A n d r e a s J. K ö Stenberger and David w. j o n e s. GOD, FAMILY and Marriage. Illions: Cross way, 2010.

5.”Marriage and Family” Indian journal of family studies (May 2009)